::above photo is Shiva, my feline child::
I work on myself so that I stop tripping over my own wounds. I pay attention to my motivations so that I can choose my path instead of it being chosen by my subconscious. I spend time alone, free from the influence of others, so that I can see my triggers in a safe place.
The goal is honesty.
To be clear with myself is to have the ability to be clear with others.
This clarity reduces and eliminates drama. This honesty fosters solutions, both comfortable and uncomfortable.
I can see myself as a crystal covered in rust and slime. Decades and lifetime old patterns that still cause me to gravitate towards a fractured sense of self.
Conscious awareness allows me to sharpen my focus on the expression of my soul through this body. Seeing the kinks and targeting them with my light.
Love, the universal solvent, softens and breaks downs the hardened arteries of my hearts discontent.
I no longer seek to wage war and conquer. I no longer seek to demolish or establish anything. I work on myself. I do my best to keep in mind that all others are self as well. To what end is winning when it means others lose?
I am looking for the place that serves us all the most. That doesn’t mean I’ve found it. That doesn’t mean I’m creating it. It just means I’m attempting to be that, wherever I can.
I live in a complicated world. My heart and soul, however, are quite simple and straightforward. They do not misguide me. They do not have ulterior motives. My direction never has and never will come from outside of me. Often I do not listen, for reasons known and unknown. That doesn’t stop me, I’ll grow at my pace.
In my efforts to become more clear with myself, I become lucid to how little I know. I become unexpectedly humbled. I would warn you, if your practice of self awareness is not humbling, you may want to reconsider your techniques and motives, that is dangerous territory.
Bringing shadow to light isn’t some courageous thing to me. It is the only way to reduce the personal hell that can arise from my depths. That hellscape is the knowing that we are out of alignment. While heaven is the presence with all-that-is from a place of responsibity and unconditional love.
The hierarchies are for society. I will never be more or less than I am right now. I am gifted with free will and consciousness. I can choose what I do with this. As I grow and expand in my awareness, I embody more of the wholeness that I am.
With each unfolding chapter, there are pieces to be transformed and pieces to be put back into their appropriate place as divine expression. Sorting these out is the work.
One thought on “To be alive is to be conscious”
Thank you for this insightful writing. I will read it again, thank you.