Who is your greatest enemy?
If you think it to be another human being… consider this.
You alone have the ability to forgive and make peace. With anyone at any time.
Even if another person completely lets go of their angst, frustration and challenge with you, you can still choose to hold in.
The biggest impediment to my own well being is and always will be myself.
I’m not a bad guy or secretly out to get me, quite the contrary.
I can clearly see myself as an ally to James and a well intentioned good natured person.
The problem isn’t a conscious one. In fact, it is more of a programming issue.
I live within my mind. My mind has certain rules.
The mind seeks to preserve itself. It survives within a seemingly infinite reality.
If we didn’t seek to defend and protect our mindset, beliefs and patterns, they most certainly would be overcome by new ideas and stimulus. Once something is set into our psyche, it is self preserving.
The deeper an impression becomes, the more cemented it is into our belief system.
Core beliefs are foundational to our identity and self concept.
As we live our day, it is essential to have some idea of self from which to interact with the world around us. Being a blank slate everyday does sound kinda nice. However it would not be useful in coordinating my place in the modern world. It would be akin to being under the influence of psychedelics all the time. Fun, maybe, until you have to look into a mirror, make a phone call or go to work.
Once beliefs are set, we seek to defend them.
Examples are easy to come by in the modern world. Look at nationalism and racism. Look at nepotism and the nuclear family. We defend whatever we identify with. These examples are macro and outer, but this is also true at the micro and inner levels. If we were raised in a cult, it may require a complete shock to the system to acknowledge the abuses and wrongdoings of those involved. Early abuse can convince us that we aren’t worthy of love or abundance. As adults, unconscious patterns hold us accountable for what we’ve experienced. It can take a lot of work to deconstruct and break through self sabotage. This is just an example of supporting our core beliefs and even defending them with our reality, regardless of whether we want it or know it.
We can Choose our Beliefs
Much of what we have been taught in our lives is completely asinine. Your parents and their parents didn’t know any better than you, your cousins or your kids. They just took care of us (hopefully) and made sure that we didn’t get hurt or in too much trouble. The mindset, the habits, the diet, the superstitions, the brainwash they received from church, media and schooling… that all got passed over to us. None of that is inherently ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Technically, it is just reflective of the collective mindset of their early influences.
***There are certainly skills and practices that are essential and helpful to pass down. Certain traditions assist us in survival and growth. They help to bring us to together and create bonds.
Some of the rhetoric these days is so strong. Like you have to believe in one side or another. Ya gotta trust some news organization whose main job is just to get your interest, view and clicks. Putting faith in human beings who ‘represent’ the constituents. They pickpocket your personal power by claiming to stand for something, portraying their claimed efficacy and cause while doing zero of it.
People believed in medical interventions that didn’t work. Now they refuse to accept findings that show them to be harmful. An individual chanting ‘Trust the Science’ will, at the same time, refuse to read a study or finding that contradicts their existing belief.
The problem isn’t that people are stupid. Quite the opposite. Human beings are highly intelligent and intelligently designed. The issue is that the world has changed, and now our operating systems need an update. It is no longer helpful to find a rigid belief structure, a clan and a cause and march forward. The modern world requires us to be flexible. Flexibility, for our core beliefs, is akin to a death. We don’t like it.
Who wants to believe that your heroes were monsters?
Who wants to accept that your core beliefs were taught to you because it made you easier to control and manipulate?
Who wants to accept that their higher education was actually brainwash?
That their taxes just fund war and bailouts for the rich?
Accepting these things is a striking blow to the self concept. This has ramifications to your ability to perform, compete and provide for yourself and your children.
Accepting certain truths could lead to the downfall of a country. What would it look like if our country knew exactly how corrupt the government actually is? If it came to light just how many high ranking politicians have been involved with pedophilia, human trafficking or pushing experimental medical treatments via threat?
As you can see, on some level, our minds protect us from personal collapse and social overthrow. Sometimes we just need to accept things slowly, or at the perfect time. I know that I have had the deepest revelations and acceptances in my life after great tragedies, mistakes, losses or misfortunes.
At some point, we will transcend the need to have opinions and affiliations. More and more people are opting out of the conjecture and seeking a peaceful life in alignment with their spiritual values.
We have chosen what we believe. Often we choose from the options laid out for us. This isn’t individuality, this isn’t freedom. It is a limited set of options that already squeeze us into tightly defined parameters.
We will Confirm our own Biases
Through no fault of our own, we will inherently confirm our beliefs. In order to do this, we will practice a form of self delusion such as cognitive dissonance. If confronted further, we may even resort to the dehumanization of those with whom we disagree. This is very easy to see in our world today.
I have found that the weaker the premise behind our beliefs, the more likely we are defensive and go on the attack. An example is someone trying to justify a wrongdoing. A woman who has cheated on her partner may make a lot of excuses about why it was okay. A man who is lying to his wife may become extra agitated seemingly for no reason at her questions. This extremely toxic hypothetical couple involves two people who are trying to believe what they want to believe. Evidence or hints towards the contrary triggers an animal like instinct to fight for their reality of choice. Underneath it, they know they’ve done something wrong. To preserve themselves, they must fight.
Human beings will fight for a lie if it protects their psyche.
New technologies like smart phones, social media and AI bring WAY more information in a day than most individuals would face in a year in 1995. Perhaps more info in a day than an individual would confront in a lifetime in the 1950’s.
This all leads us to run on overdrive. Decisions, decisions, decisions. Info, info, info.
At the same time the global economy is aiming to capitalize on these new technologies via old means. Get everyones attention, create problems and then sell the solutions. Keep people in separation and fear. The algorithms are so smart. Just from reading this post a new ad will appear on your phone later today.
We don’t have to have opinions :: A case for neutrality
One key way to support our own beliefs is to encourage others to have opinions as well. When there is a middle ground or a grey area to a matter, it becomes uncomfortable. This discomfort is a breeding ground for nuance and conversation. The logical mind isn’t the biggest fan of this, especially when the nervous system is out of wack.
Let me just tell you, you don’t have to have a strong opinion or choose sides. Nope. Not at all. That part is up to you. It doesn’t make you a good or bad person when you don’t choose sides. Being an observer and staying neutral does not condone wrongdoings. This is a massive false narrative of our time.
In truth, holding a neutral observer position is the most effective way to bring about long term solutions. Reactivity may help if a car is headed towards you, but it doesn’t help you navigate emotions, social issues or relationship challenges.
I’ve never been to into social causes. You can say I’m not an ally or I am selfish… whatever works. I just don’t have the capacity to take part in the common social discourse. Since I was a child, I refused to participate in games, groups, clubs or anything where there was too strong of a communal identity. Church and school was tough. I was often shamed, called selfish or punished for refusing to take part. I ended up spending a lot of time alone, not having many friends and feeling disconnected from the world. For whatever pain I felt as a child, I am so glad that I did.
When something big is going on, like an election, a war or pandemic… there is always a much bigger picture that is unfolding. Just like in a sporting event, there are more than just the two teams in the championship game. There were many other teams, the individual players, the injuries that occurred and the complicated politics of the sport itself. To just say “I choose this team not that team” is one way to look at it. In my experience, the dance of ‘how we got here’ is much more interesting. To further this sports analogy, I much prefer the storyline of the players, the chemistry of the teams, the challenges they’ve faced and the overall journey that has built the final game, match or series.
The more people I see doing something, the less interested I become in doing it. At the same time, I become fascinated as to ‘why’ they do it and ‘how’ this movement developed. When we begin to look at things from this lens, choosing sides or believing narratives seems foolish and even ignorant.
The seeds that were planted, the roots that grab the Earth tell us far more than the leaves and fruit.
Whatever brings us to our conclusions is all good. There are consequences, however, of deciding what is going on, who is right and who is wrong without in depth personal investigation. Everyone involved has a slant. They want you to believe what they believe. Whether that is because they need followers and likes, or because they have deep doubts about their own conclusions.
Try not to believe in anything other than the power of your consciousness. Have faith in the world around you, but don’t buy what others are selling. If it was that good, they wouldn’t need to evangelize.
You Will End Up Understanding More
In due time, when we stay observant of ourselves and our environment, we are able to see the full picture. From here, we may acknowledge that there isn’t one ‘truth’ but many potentials. Each potential or personal path is coinciding and fighting for space and attention.
If two children cry for attention, one isn’t right and the other wrong. They both need attention, and the cry of one should not diminish the cry of the other.
Both ‘sides’ in all debates need some level of attention, that is why they foster such drama. The moment you pick a side, you align yourself with one side of the see saw. Your agreement with ways of thinking or being does not require you to exclaim it to the world.
If someone tells you that silence is violence… ask them to repeat it, to actually think about what they are saying. You aren’t an idiot. When a situation calls for your local attention, you will stand up or alert the appropriate authority to do so.
Breaking the mold will piss off many people...
As the holiday season approaches, many of us will be faced with familiar and repeating patterns. Whether it is high school friends or family members, there is an elevated pressure to fit the mold and follow the group. Drinking, drug use, sugar consumption and gossiping are all easier to do during this time.
Break the mold, stay sober. Call out the bullshit. Don’t feel the need to share your beliefs about the world, that is for you, no one else needs to know about it. Let others argue and waste their energy with disagreeable passive aggressive looks.
Be silly and make people laugh.
Be loving in the face of extreme views.
Don’t take it so seriously.
Be different.
Be you.
Keep the codependent trash off of your pristine shoreline.
Take time for yourself.
Only consume the energy, news and food that nourishes you.