Processing is reaching a new level. The mind is being obliterated so that feelings and energy can flow. During this time, the mind and even words may just end up getting in the way. Relationally, there is little progress to be made. We each have such intense individual battles to tend to. This leaves us mired, stuck, slowed or at the very least intensely focused on the personal journey.
Instead of focusing on results, focus on just ‘getting things out’. Hold a playful space for others and don’t take it personally, that won’t go well.
The deepest of wounds have opened up to the light. They are influencing our brains to think one way or the other. This is a time to recognize the limitations of words and thoughts. They are renderings that pass through various colored lenses. We rarely think or speak in clear terms. We are literally a shade of reality, thus our expressions contain this hue. We may think we are being objective, but are we?
In the last few months, much has been recovered. The energy is very positive and had things moving that are accustomed to being stagnant, hidden or just hard to pin down. As Mercury finishes retrograde time in Scorpio and completes the Grand Water Trine… things are put back into their appropriate place.
Organizing our approach to reality is never easy. Every day we do our best to wake up, create some positive structure and handle our tasks. Some periods are easier than others. Right now, I will say, this is challenging to do. So much has shifted. There was a lazy river effect happening with the grand water trine. Where regardless of what we did, we were all floating effortlessly in some direction. As the water stops flowing, we emerge onto a new riverbank. We may feel unfamiliar with the plants, trees and locals of this area.
As we attempt to orient ourselves, the basic routines upon which we have lived for years or decades no longer work. We now have to redo how we live our lives. How we approach our days and thoughts.
We may be finding that we are just done with something(s). We do not want to be the person that we were anymore. The way we interact with our job, our family, our partner or our hobbies just isn’t fitting.
In truth, all of the pieces in our lives FIT us because of who we ARE. When that changes, those things no longer fit the way that they did. Most of the time, we change gradually and that allows for slow adaptation within our lives. We could ask for a different schedule with work or communication style with a partner. Slow growth allows for existing patterns in our lives to be salvaged.
When we go through intense changes in short periods of time, there may not be the ability to stay together. We may have to quit the job or get fired. We may have to break up or get divorced. This, in truth, IS a form of adaptation. There is a misconception in our culture that ‘endings’ are failures. Endings are, in fact, just the stage of evolution. A relationship to someone or something still exists after a breakup or separation. It is simply less dynamic and takes on symbolic forms.
Death always brings new life. Sometimes the life is imbued back into the same connection after the death. Whatever the case, personal evolution IS CHANGE. This period in which we stand… a lot has change. For this week and beyond, we are accepting the changes.
So we have moved down the river and are just coming to terms with how exciting and disorienting it is. There is a level of discomfort that requires discipline to STAY THE COURSE in order to avoid falling back into poor habits and connections. Some of the more pressing and looming shifts may need to lose a little steam now. If we were gung ho about something new, we are forced to temper our expectations.
Things are a lot more work than we may have thought. Even if we knew what we were in for, there is a sobering effect now.
It is important to remember that nothing is going WRONG. That feeling comes in from multiple angles as the overwhelm looms. Our body, mind and emotions become concerned when too many things are changing. It can trigger survival instincts in us. We can become agitated easily and slip back into patterns from childhood.
When the inner child is triggered, they may begin pointing fingers. Whether it is self blame or blame of others, this is an indication that love and acceptance are needed. If change is to come, loving yourself will empower you to make these changes.
You can’t force a child to do things if they don’t feel safe.
Wherever you are triggered, make yourself feel safe and heard.
Others may not be able to offer the same space, as they are tending to their needs.
Codependency on Blast
Each person walks this path and it may seem that they aren’t able to support you in the same way. We must find a way to honor ourselves and ask for a bit less. In fact, this time can be SCREAMING at you to show you where you are codependent.
Codependency is natural, it happens to all of us. For some it is more of a problem than others, like all things. The key is to recognize where we LOSE ourselves in interactions. The sacrifices we make for friends, coworkers, clients, partners and even strangers on the internet.
When asked what we want to eat or do, and we wait for someone else to answer. If we look for consent and validation of our experience from a partner. This is codependency. Feeling so attached to the responses and actions of others, that we lose our own volition and independent thought.
These things happen, but they aren’t exactly ideal. Over time, the more we do this, the less chemistry there is between US and the other person. Codependency ruins the electricity between people. Each individual loses their ability to regenerate and begins to rely on the other. Over time, this just burns out the system.
Before you begin judging yourself or saying ‘I’m codependent’ or ‘My partner is codependent’ just recognize that we all are. Again, it is a natural, trusting and very loving way of engaging someone. The trouble is what it causes for us personally, a loss of individuality and identity.
Use this time to recognize these habits and patterns. It is easy to do so and very helpful. In my experience, it is impossible to grow with someone when we are relying on them for our direction. It is a sinking ship and the connection becomes more about bailing water than enjoying the ride. It is nice to have a partner in life, but it is a slippery slope to rely on them for direction, motivation and validation.
If we want our relationships to thrive and bring out the best in us, we must be brave and embrace ourselves independently. We can bring THIS to the table and free our partner of the caretaking burden.
This Ain’t Over
By the end of the weekend, Mercury will have made some moves. There are a few more steps to get us back onto the new land. So stay focused on what is working for you. Don’t allow distractions and emotional burdens to have you believing that everything is falling apart. In fact, it is really coming together.
Stay tuned, talk soon….