With Mercury’s sextile to Pluto on Saturday Morning the 13th ((8:30 AM all times Pacific)) we officially have completed a revelatory time. Emotional growth has been non stop. The cosmos provided a life preserver to carry us through the flooding rivers and tumultuous seas of transformation. Since mid October… Mercury, Venus, Mars, the Sun and Moon have all played vital roles in this dynamic. As Neptune and Saturn are stationed in Pisces, Jupiter sits in Cancer. Signs of the same element… in this case water… are in trine to one another. This facilitates flow and ease of movement. As the personal planets and luminaries traveled through Scorpio, they trine Pisces and Cancer. Each of these planets move through this portal and transduce the energies of the planets further out in our Solar System. Mercury was working overtime in retrograde, communicating between all the planets and delivering much needed, yet before now, hard to come by info and expressions. As the planets reached the end of Scorpio, they formed oppositions to Uranus, bringing unexpected yet serendipitous events. Upon leaving Scorpio, the planets move into Sagittarius and Sextile Pluto, this is where each planets retrieves personal power and bestows it back to us. In a way, this is a perfect set up for working through deep patterns, accepting shocking new realities and then having the courage and energy to move forward, despite the hurt and pain of the past.
We have been flushed clean and forced to accept what is underneath. Now, as Mercury is sextile to Pluto, a new reality is being minted. There is still some formidable work to do, but things aren’t going back to the way they were before. This is a good thing. We are lighter now.
There are potential ignorances and pitfalls to all energy, but if you are paying attention to what you are doing, this time has greatly benefitted your overall wellness. The future is brighter because of these last few months.
If you feel otherwise, be patient with the next few weeks and do your best to focus on your personal growth instead of soiling yourself with outer drama and news. What happens online, in the media or in others lives has nothing to do with you. If you choose to be occupied with it, it will leave you feeling empty. Not because it is bad or terrible or a trick, but because it isn’t your life. We are designed to explore our souls in this lifetime. While there is no ‘wrong’ way to do it, there are paths that make it more fulfilling, joyous and centered. In short, ignore the bullshit and if you choose it, know what you are choosing.
Tend to the garden within your reach.
~ Someone at the Grocery Store one time
I’m New… I think I’m New
The flow created by the Grand Water Trine has been fixed into our patterning. This is our new way of being. It is still coming online and there may be a few bugs, but you’ll work it out. Relationships to others are irrevocably changed and for the most part, in good ways. Some people, however, have shown you who they are. They may have made amends for past grievances. They may have hurt you in a way that you can forgive, but won’t forget. Most connections simply found their new standing in your life. Mercury in Scorpio brought such a deep review that there is far less ability to pretend, people please or wear a mask. In a way, we have been shown how to don our truest mask.
This is me. Take it or leave it. I don’t care.
There is something refreshing about all of this. We are able to just be ourselves. In doing so, we must face our desires to manipulate and control. That is what masks, people pleasing, over helping, self sacrifice and deceit are all about. In controlling, we hope to create or avoid a certain outcome. In order to stop, we have to look at what motivated the desire to do so.
Doing these things comes from a place of insecurity. We have doubts, low self esteem or weak self image. Nothing wrong with having these, we all do. In a way it keeps us humble but can also have us forgetting how valuable and special we truly are.
When we show up in a non authentic form, we are distancing ourselves from ourselves. Our psyche internalizes this self denial. Over time, we can become so downtrodden that we feel as if our thoughts, dreams, hopes, wishes and expressions are worth anything. We may even find ourselves surrounding by others who think the same about themselves. Families often share and enable these patterns.
My truth is that I am divinely inspired to be whatever the hell it is that I am. I am unique, I have gifts and flaws. I am part of something bigger than my body and my mind. I am not my name, my face, my job or even my words. The format of human life is phenomenally interesting. My soul has inspired spirit to enliven my body. My words, thoughts, actions and emotions are derivative of my soul. Ideally, with every moment, I am moving closer to alignment. In truth, however, it comes in waves and pulses.
Some days I am a tool for the world, just trying to figure out how to handle being social, running a business or cleaning my house. These tasks are all divine, I admit, but being a human seems to require rest periods in between the intensity of self reflection and personal growth.
So all those gutters of self doubt have been flushed and seek to be utilized for the spontaneous and divine self expression. Some of us may had our head so deep in our ass that we haven’t recognized it yet. Within the next two weeks, it will be apparent if we’ve downplayed ourselves too much and a less enjoyable reroute will make itself available (keep your eyes out). On the other hand, if we have used this time to feel through the damage and ruins of our past, we have a freedom and lightness to take advantage of newly arriving cosmic energies. The end of December will represent an opportunity to use challenges as rungs on a ladder to finally climb into the fresh air and out of suffocating patterns. If not used in this way, we may notice others sinking deeper into their painful patterns. Check in on your friends.
Vulnerable and Confused
Well look what we have here. All opened up and clear. Do I like this? Shit, I don’t know, there certainly is a lot to think about. Something about being stuck in patterns that makes everything so comfortable. Some days I would prefer a little bit of numbing agent, it can really do a body good from time to time.
I often need the longest breaks after the deepest healing journeys. I have had times where I have worked so long and so hard that you’d think my body would be cooked. The truth is, the body recovers easily when fed the right fuel. Stay in the healing mindset and in alignment with your heart, the body will heal from anything. The tough part is the healing of the mind and emotions.
Recently I have had the opportunity to confront a pain so deep. Something that had been simmering in my unconscious for the last twelve years. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to process and move on, it was that I simply couldn’t. I went through multiple modalities, spent countless days and nights wrapped in disdain, confusion and pain. In the last few years, I had accepted that I would never get the opportunity to make peace with it. My peace was to know that things simply were what they were.
Macrodoses of psilocybin. Solo backpacking trips in the most remote parts of the United States. A decade of decoding projection onto partners……. all of this. I had processed as much as I could on my own. Still, somehow, the last piece had to live within me, just as it was, without resolution.
I was making my own resolution.
Sometimes we just don’t get to fully process and let things go. The situation becomes something that we carry with us. The healing journey is to accept that its okay for it to exist. Our reactions become a response, we handle the pain, the wound with care.
So, shocking to me, I am being given a chance to let go of that wound I had filed away in my body, mind and soul. I had put it to bed. No matter how restless it made me, I allowed it to sleep. Upon the reopening of this wound, I see both the potential and the annoyance within it. I am wise enough, thank God, to know that, in life, you take these opportunities.
Cycles and Patterns
Have we actually evolved? How would we ever know? When the past returns, in the same face or a new face… how do we respond? The true test isn’t whether or not we can CANCEL what we don’t like. It is whether or not we can live with the test. Can we find neutrality to the triggers. Is it possible to know something exists without being attached to what it does?
As new adventures begin they will have pieces of the old journeys coded within them. Characters from the past show up in new costumes and roles. Everything that has happened in our lives is called back to us at some point. Until the energy returns, is accepted and blends in with our being. We are everything, there is no escape.
At the greatest point of healing there also exists the height of pain.
Cleaning the Wounds
As an infection is being removed, the body is open and vulnerable. Cleaning the wound is no fun, but is necessary. Until we have flushed out and recovered the infected space, we are still vulnerable to control from outside forces and the whims of the universe. As we face the tough energies and stay centered within ourselves and on our course, we rebuild our structure. The challenges, pains and traumas are integrated into the body as consistent boundaries. This creates structure and bolsters our identity.
It is our presence, our light, within a space that keeps it clean and nurtured.
We must continue to clean out and flush the wounded areas. The depths exposed by the recent cosmic energies will likely require maintenance for many years if not the rest of our lives. Nasty bits of energy and physical matter are closer to the surface, this isn’t a time to deny it or run away. Allow the propagation of awareness and bring new influences, ideas and experiences into your world.
Keep going and stay connected to what you love.
As the draw towards the ‘old you’ fades away, let it do so.
New can be scary, but that’s just because it’s exciting and unknown.