You have already been forgiven. There are no hard and steadfast rules. A blanket of shame has been laid down atop the bed of humanity. Undercurrents of unworthiness and inferiority are woven into our cultures, religions, and society at large. The dynamic plays out in our homes, schools, governments, and relationships.
From an early age, we have been reminded that our thoughts and feelings are of little importance. Adults, scheming to survive the game of capitalism, teach the young ones how to treat one another. Honor the power hungry. Give at least 40 hours a week to the almighty dollar. Trust blindly when afraid, even if you are trusting those who have made you afraid in the first place. Being accepted is better than being authentic.
This culture lacks self love. This culture lacks self trust. This culture lacks self guidance. There is no outer cure for an inner disease of lack. The balance must come from within.
No need to fight with yourself. A feeling of lack or unworthiness is a misinterpretation, don’t try to rationalize with it. You have the ability to choose a different path altogether. If you were errantly looking to the East for the sunset, you would just turn around to the West. This is what we need. To simply turn away from these hypercritical and self defeating habits. To divest from our feelings of self lack and invest in acceptance and love. The first step is to pull away.
We are creatures of habit. That which we do, say, and think creates what we ‘are’. I am 39 years old, and I have many habits which have carved riverbeds into my personality and life. Through indoctrination, we establish grooves of energy flow in our psyche and day to day lives. Walking away from these ways of being can feel like abandonment. It can feel like rejection. That’s because it is!
These archetypal channels in our life experience are no longer serving us. We must, in fact, abandon them, reject them, rebuke them in order to move on to new ways of living and being. There is no need to embarrass ourselves, shame ourselves, or feel guilty. These actions only further the antiquated habits. What we seek is forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not about being sorry. Forgiveness is not about pay back or retribution.
Consider the idea of debt. When a debt is forgiven, the balance is brought back to zero. The tension and imbalance of the debt has been erased. When forgiving yourself, you are erasing the initial contract with outmoded belief systems, energies, relationships, or situations.
It is not like the debt or the relationship never happened… quite the contrary. The experience that created the tension or imbalance taught you many wonderful things. Gifts are incurred in all moments regardless of the path chosen. Ironically, if we miss out on the lessons from one of these relationships, we are likely to repeat it in the future. So be mindful, avoid being a victim with all your discipline and dignity. Take ownership of your life whenever possible.
So we graduate from these old ways of being. Whatever humanity has gained and learned from thousands of years of servitude, we are grateful for. Whatever I was taught from a traumatic ending in a relationship, I can see the gifts. Whatever it is that was asking for a wake up call within me, now it is awoken, and it’s time to kick off these old tattered boots.
So, the work is less about ‘doing’ and more about ‘knowing’. Any action taken towards proving oneself is taken in vain. Your worth, and your value, is infinite and yours to claim. Take action from your heart, from your passion, from your wisdom, and let your true power shine from that point.
This work is a constant process, to forgive oneself for the multitude of attitudes, beliefs, and programs. Keep at it, the benefits are numerous. I have had times where it feels like stripping paint from my insides. Other times I feel so dark and alone that I am sad for weeks.
Newly exposed layers of eternal self isn’t always the most comfortable fashion.
As you become more seasoned with the process of death and rebirth, you’ll begin to see the cycles. “It’s always darkest before the dawn” is very true. Also, after a long sunny afternoon, another night is coming. Balance is always key, as we are bigger than any of this, that is why we get to explore it.
One cannot experience anything that they themselves do not embody
You will acclimate to the new way of seeing things. The same way that we acclimated to the imbalances we seek to shift. It takes time and exposure. Soon enough you will find yourself awakening from the old dream. The one that had you doubting your value, the one that had you working so hard your body hurt, the one that had you chasing people who simply weren’t available.
Yes, you will awaken into a new dream, one that is more aligned with your personal volition, your intuition, your passions. This is why the work is never truly done. As children we are sponges, knowing very little how impactful our world will be. We become ‘adults’ and suddenly we get to make our own choices without the constant bombardment of authority figures. We become wiser. This process repeats, over and over.
If you are reading this, you are probably somewhere along the road of figuring out that your early life created some patterns. Maybe you don’t exactly know what to do with them, but you can see that, if given free choice, you’d prefer to do it differently.
Welcome! I love you, and I am happy to meet you here on this same road. This is why we do the work. This is how we regain our consciousness. This is when it happens, we are in it together.
Whatever happened to my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers and so on, I understand. They were told many things. They were pushed into fear and coerced via violence and social humiliation. They did the best that they could with what they had. While that doesn’t mean what they did was right, ethical, or even legal in some cases, it does mean that I understand and can accept the ugliness for what it is.
Generations of abuse and slavery are coming to a head. The world is at odds with it’s way of being and for good reason. We do not seek to continue along these paths. If you choose to have children, you will raise them differently. You are choosing a different way of being, from start to finish. No longer do we dance in the shadows and hide our faces in the day. We show ourselves in full living color, full expression, full love.
Old habits die hard, so let us begin the funeral proceedings. Bury your old patterns. Your ancestors might have some wisdom for you, but they don’t know how you should live. That’s why you are alive, and not them. They support in other ways, and trust that they are doing their work. Learn to rely heavily on yourself, as opposed to unseen forces. You are the embodiment of all of the wisdom of the cosmos, you are eternal. The unseen forces seek to see you blossom and grow, they are enjoying the show.
Bless you and thank you for reading. These affirmations are designed to assist in the process of reclaiming your own center. Read them out loud for an extra boost. When you are done, sit with your eyes closed and feel the alignment.
I am born to live
I am free to be
I choose my thoughts
I am eternal
My soul is watching as I unfold and regenerate
I learn from my experiences
I forgive myself
My heart is open and flowing
My mind is flexible and wise
My knowledge is transforming into wisdom
My body can heal itself
Light floods my cells
My blood is pure
My eyes are clear
My journey is a gift
I accept myself
I am stronger with every moment
I am a gift to the world
This life is sacred
I am free to enjoy my life
I am free to create my life
I am free to choose my thoughts
I receive unconditional love
I love myself unconditionally
I release my doubt
I embrace clarity
I choose to put the past to rest
Thank you for this journey
Thank you for this healing
NEW MOON COSMIC GATHERING
Join James for an intimate group call via Zoom.
Friday, March 12th 2021
Breakdown of New Moon astrology
Sharing circle (an open space to share a bit about your process)
Making use of the upcoming energy
About the Author
As a Healer and Astrologer, James uses his gifts of intuition, wisdom, and empathy to offer a supportive healing environment to his clients. He speaks the language of astrology in ways that are practical and responsible, enabling the client to benefit deeply from each session.