We can dedicate ourselves to anything at any point. Often I wonder why I ever choose any specific path. I feel mildly obsessed and brainwashed into desiring to ‘make an impact’.
I find my deepest truth in nature, alone. In that arena, I don’t seek much of anything either than warmth and food.
Humans have survived so much to be here right now. Is time even real? Are we traveling forward endlessly? Is the future the only possibility? I speak in hyperbole, but it does seem to me that sometimes we go backwards.
My goal when sharing on this platform is to connect with people. I try to speak in terms that will be understood and in ways that are approachable. More and more I am consumed with the idea that things are not as they seem.
Perhaps it is the oncoming Pisces new moon as the sun and luna head towards Neptune… but is anything really as it seems?
We make up so many labels and categories. It is helpful for our brains to categorize and organize, I get it. But, at the end of the day, is there something besides our mental comfort in which we could be investing.
What if, instead of attempting to understand and dissect our reality, we could focus on letting it flow more seamlessly. As opposed to forcing a model of efficiency based on our ideas, we could ask for the efficiency of nature to teach us. Towers built to the sky will inevitably fall, why build them in the first place? Is it just fun, interesting?
I don’t like the reflection I see in society. I still love it, I am thrilled by it, but I don’t really like it. People are striving to build their identities, to climb corporate ladders, to stack money in accounts, to gain a degree to earn respect. The egoic skyscrapers will also inevitably fall and fail. Where will it all land? What is at the foundation when all else crumbles?
That is gold. That is me, out in the woods as it gets dark, gathering firewood. That is me, old and tired, transitioning from this planet. The beginning is the end is the beginning. We are parabolic expressions reaching highs and lows throughout our magical experience of life.
I have experienced apathy in my life fairly consistently. Maybe you can see it in my words. I’m not bothered by apathy, although socially it does seem to get in the way of my progress. Apathy is me realizing that, underneath my aspirations, there is an unstable foundation. My guides helping me to realize that, although that ideal is super shiny, it won’t bring you any closer to love or peace or joy.
A certain psychic reader once told me that I ‘drop the ball’ on things. This was quite a grand statement, as she was speaking of my soul. I have learned a lot from that insight, whether it’s about my soul or not, well that’s not really important, I am here right now. My brother once reminded me ‘never diagnose yourself with anything unless you have clear evidence it’s true’. Now, I wouldn’t call myself a hypochondriac, but, eh… I have my moments. The point here is that follow through is important, especially if you have made commitments. The more people involved, the more important it is to hold your integrity. For this reason, I limit my promises and ‘yeses’.
My mother reminds me that, as a kid, I would not make promises. I felt the heavy and committed nature of these contracts, so I would refuse. I would recommend that you all do the same. Maybe it is the Aquarian sun in me, but I see no reason to commit to something unless it is incredibly vital and profound. If you find profundity in the day to day workings of relationships, then have at it. I find most experiences quite pleasant and mundane, with no need for contracts, agreements, or promises. Timing is often out of our control, feel free to be late. Passion is mutable, feel free to get angry at me or to stop desiring my company. Let’s stop holding ourselves and each other to such high standards. Lest we forget that we just completed a rather hellish Mars retrograde in Aries… it’s time to get back to basics.
The best that any group can do, in my humble opinion, is to have each individual commit fully to themselves, and then show up to create community. If it works any other way, the community will inevitably falter as the weak links unravel under pressure. Self first is not a bad thing. Being able to take care of one’s health is vital to the health of the community. We all bear the weight of those who refuse to take care of themselves. If I show up to my partner with anything less than dedication to me, it doesn’t really go that well.
As we step into a beautiful and magical time around the new moon, let’s remember how little we know. Our conceptions about anything, whether it is science, spirituality, religion, relationships, death, sickness… are only holding us in place. There is so much that we could have and probably miss on a day to day, moment to moment basis.
Set a commitment to yourself. Reconsider your contracts and pray for guidance as to how to restructure them. You deserve to carve out your niche in this life.
Thank you for reading, have a wonderful moment <3