I didn’t know you’d erupt out of me like this, but I’m glad you did.
Let’s start with the ugly part. The crying, the rage, the confusion, the dissatisfaction. I woke up to you hungry but I could barely feed myself. I know I made the oatmeal, but I didn’t like it. In fact, I left it outside for the birds to eat, it just wasn’t good enough.
That’s how I felt, not good enough. I can’t measure up to my own subconscious expectations that now, as they bubble over my soft fleshy surface, are obviously way to intense. Your aspects to Pluto, dear moon, are well noted.
This didn’t start yesterday, and it certainly won’t be over tomorrow, but this is a milestone. This is a checkpoint. This is where the clusterfucks come together in a knot. I choose to eject them and let God sort them out.
I was only confused and turned in on myself because, at the root, there is some bad math.
Seperate from Source? Who me… nope, don’t think so.
Unworthy of love? Who me… nope, calling bullshit.
Bad at life? I…don’t….think so!
So as I erupt volcanically
I find it so ironic
That the thoughts that hold me back
are the roots
of my chronic
issues and ills
trials and tears
So I let em flow out
to the sea of nothingness
from the bottom of my belly
where I often feel a mess
I give praise to the power
of the movement of the planets
to the strength of my own mind
and to my own self dammit
I’m sure the moon will return
to smack me up another time
but for now i’ll sit and write
some lunar inspired lines
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