Pisces season is a time that may have us awash in the feelings, thoughts, and impressions of others. The mutable water sign may seem to lack direction, ambling about from one unstable point to another. During pisces, we must find grounding through presence, as our dimensions of reality become obscured, so does our physical body. Space and time are no longer reliable forms of plotting and planning. The ether becomes filled with the flow of the universe, like a flood of vital life force energy in multifaceted forms ranging from supportive to downright scary. Identity, both personal and social, is forced to stand up to the pressures and mostly fails. This however, is a blessing, as we are reborn and humbled in the presence of such immense and divine influence. Pisces ends with Aries, the beginning of the cycle, the rebirth. For now we must do our best to maintain integrity in shifting and challenging times. Be willing to release that which does not serve you, and practice forgiveness on all levels, you know not how we got to this point. Stay present in the moments of your lives, allow the waves of cosmic energy to purify and simplify your expression.
Being Helpful without Hurting Self
Pisces as an archetype is known for it’s ability to give, to sacrifice for the greater good. We are all humans, and in my experience, we all seek to help. This helping nature can easily be taken advantage of or abused, here are some tips to keep your centered around that group/friend/partner/family member…
Can this person do this for themselves?… When you are asked for assistance, the first place to start is “Can you do this for yourself?”. In an ideal world, we all take care of ourselves, become empowered, and inspire this empowerment in others. This would not be a place where no one helps one another, but assistance would come only when needed, leaving space and time for personal development and authentic relating. So, while you may be scared of seeming brash, feel free to ask them if they are capable. If they are, they should be doing it for themselves.
Will they likely ask you for the same help again?… Have you seen this show before? Have other mutual connections mentioned being asked for assistance in the same vein? Even though they say they really need it, do you just know in your heart and mind that the next time the same situation occurs, they will reach out with the same or a new excuse? This is a key sign of enabling, there is no accountability or personal growth. When you become the one that is reached out to for help, you are the place that they run to when they are feeling lazy, scared, or incapable.
Are you taken care of?… Are you sacrificing your own needs? Do you have plans and you are willing to change them on a dime because someone else asks you for help? Im sorry to say it, but this is self abuse, plain and simple. There is an inner child inside each and every one of us, and you promised them that you would dedicate time, they were looking forward to it, more than you know. This one can be tricky, because this is more about you than them. However, if someone knows you well and doesn’t pick up on your lack, you must communicate your needs as opposed to bowing out of your own self love time. No one is benefited by falling on your own sword. This is a post about Pisces season, we are all connected and we rely on YOU to be strong and nurtured.
Does it drain you? Do you need to decompress afterwards?… After assisting or giving someone your time, energy, or money, how do you feel? Giving and offering where it is appreciated and appropriate is a wonderful experience. It leads to an opening between the giver and the receiver, gratitude and abundance in all areas. If after offering your support, you feel like crap, take a closer look at the interaction. If you call someone on your way home to complain about the situation or the person, this is not a helpful connection. If you need to get home immediately after seeing this person and meditate or imbibe or isolate yourself. If you find yourself more irritable with your loved ones after interacting with them, reconsider your boundaries.
NO is a complete sentence?… If someone cannot take ‘no’ for an answer, create some distance from them or establish a clear boundary. If they require a reason, an explanation, or they complain when you say ‘no’, seriously reconsider whether or not their influence in your life is helpful. We only have so much energy in life, we are on a constant merry go round of stressors and decision making. When we arrive at an honest and clear answer, it should herald celebration and divine acknowledgment. If a person tries to talk you out of your NO, that is just simply wrong. Hold your boundary and be confident in your decisions.
Enabling : Helping but not Helpful
There are plenty of people in this world that feel disempowered or have had very hard luck. I would hazard to say that each of us has gone through a time where the assistance of others has been the only thing keeping us from falling apart. Honor these authentic situations when they find you or another. Use the tips above to be discerning in the assessment of the scheme, remember that YOU come first.
Enabling is a relationship where one person becomes the means of another’s disempowerment or complicit in the continuation of a disempowering or destructive cycle
Enabling is actually helping, its just not actually helpful. You are helping someone to maintain a deleterious pattern within their life. By being there in this helping yet unhelpful manner, you are helping them to avoid their true feelings, life experience, and ultimately blocking them from achieving personal growth. Perhaps they are not seeking their own internal power because others (you) have been so willing to give of themselves without question. It is incredibly easy to be part of these patterns, but they are highly destructive and toxic to both parties involved.
When enabling, you become an auxiliary gas tank for this person to fuel their ugly habits. While in the meantime draining you of your vitality.
If there is one truth in this multiverse, it is that we must all take care of ourselves first and foremost. For it is in the challenges that we become stronger, more capable individuals upon which healthy and vibrant interdependent relationships can be built.
An Open Letter to Spirit
Spirit you are my number one partner. The two of us are capable of anything together. Just like any relationship, I put zero expectations on you. In all honesty, I have zero idea what you are or where you came from. Our relationship is here 100% of the time, day and night, asleep or awake. You speak to me at all times and I admit that often I am just not paying attention. The world is an exciting place, and sometimes I forget that the inner world also needs my attention. While I find you everywhere, it is really within and during my solitary moments that your presence and gifts are most obvious to me. I acknowledge that there is no specific right way to get to know you, I just wanted to say thank you for your consistency. For my own sake, I’m going to do my best to work with you whenever possible. Our connection is infinite and your input is always welcome, even if I seem determined to block you out, please offer your gentle and honest support.
Xx Offer yourself the gifts you seek from the world xX
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